16 Reasons My Head Is Going To Explode

These aren’t in any particular order.

  1. When I tell my mother how Phil McGraw presented someone as a doctor and an expert on trans when they were just an evangelist, she laughs.
  2. When I am looking in Avenue, a clerk asks if I am shopping for a “female person,” making it clear that she did not approve of anything else.  I was shopping for my mother, but not hers to judge.
  3. After I throw spilled ice out of the car, a woman drives by and curses at me.
  4. My father natters on to me about the paper he has been asked to review, making no sense.
  5. My mother refuses to go to the bathroom on any one else’s schedule, so both of us wait.
  6. It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I am denied any attempt at being actually festive.
  7. The car I am driving, the one that I told people was bad but that they wanted me to keep driving, not only has oil leaks, check engine light and bad brakes, but now also has a throbbing shot muffler.
  8. I saw My Best Friend’s Girl and am aching to satisfy my pussy.
  9. I have to make dinner tomorrow with not even help about schedule, guests or menu
  10. I have been invited to a fabulous TransGiving and there is no way that I can go.
  11. I need to relax and shake this off, but am interrupted every five minutes or so.
  12. Usually on Black Friday my sister and I go shopping, but this year she hasn’t even attempted to repair the breech that she, my father and my mother created.
  13. My head is throbbing with pain, the “feels like my ears will bleed” kind.
  14. Christmas is everywhere, which means more obligations for me and less joy.
  15. It’s been way too long that I have to pee my mother, like after midnight and at 4 AM last night
  16. The Bush administration has screwed the world.


“When it comes to love, there is only one thing you can trust.

It’s not your friends, it’s not your head.

It’s that little voice inside your clamburger.”

Woman in strip club women’s room, “My Best Friend’s Girl

I now know that if I trusted that little voice about my, rather than trying to believe in my head or my family, I would have more of the passion I need.

Trust the clamburger, eh?