I just got called misogynistic on a crossdreser list because I responded to someone who wrestles as a man-in-a-dress using a woman’s name who said “Who said you can’t be tough wearing a dress?” by saying that I have seen lots of men who get even tougher when wearing a dress to play against their outfit.

I said that I valued those who play into the outfit, allowing themselves to be vulnerable and pretty.

That view, according to a poster, just valued the over-it archetype of the hyper-femme crossdresser or transwoman, and was misogynistic.

I was trying to value what I experience as the core of womanhood, valuing the exposure of intimacy and the attempt to reveal inner beauty, and I got slapped as being “against women.”

It’s my experience that crossdressers don’t really like women, because women challenge their appropriation of the symbols of womanhood while they dismiss the meaning of those symbols.  I think that crossdressers do that because they need to hold fast to the notion that the symbols they claim for themselves do not express any meaning that might challenge their status as real men.

And it is also my experience that men tend to like to shout down challengers, even with the ironic twist of shouting down women who defend womanhood by calling them misogynistic.

After all, isn’t challenging the idea that a woman can be just like a man anti-woman?

The poster ended by echoing my line that I was over the comedy of guys-in-dresses by saying that they were over people who were vulnerable and pretty.

That, well, that sounded pretty misogynistic to me.

Is there really much doubt of why women-identified people leave trans space?  When tough men challenge those who value the womanhood whose symbols crossdressers claim, then there is no space left for valuing the meaning women hold in their lives.

It’s just, well, misogynistic.

2 thoughts on “Misogynistic”

  1. What’s the second worst thing you can tell a crossdresser? That they aren’t really a woman.

    What’s the worst thing you can tell a crossdresser? That they aren’t really a man.

    On the local tranny list, the vote is in. You are whatever gender you claim to be, at any time. Trying to tie responsibility to gender is just a nasty trick, just like saying that a woman is different from a man is a misogynistic slur on women, who are the same as men.

    In my experience, anyone who tells you that there is no difference between men and women is a man. That’s the fun bit about being at the top of the pecking order; you can just assume that everyone else should be like you.

    Women understand this, as TBB notes. She loves getting the little looks when some guy does something stupid, loves being in on the shared irony that men miss and women relish. She has figured out that there are things men just can’t get and stay men, so it’s silly even to try.

    I do understand that, but I always hope there will be room on trans lists for trans experience, not just cross-dresser puffing up.

    As to the whole claim thing, I wrote on that a decade ago:


    I’ll shut up and let the men strut around and remind me that they know everything, that there is no difference, and as they preen, I will know that I see the world in a very different way.

    I spent a few hours in a ghetto garage today watching Jose destroy the rear wheel of the car I am driving. It was that kind of man space that makes brilliant FTM Cole queasy. I had to really perform man to stay stable in there, and it was way hard, nauseating and exhausting.

    I think it’s OK for men to claim their space in a spooky old industrial building turned into dank and scary garage, but in trans space, I find their demands oppressive.

    Of course, that’s one reason why so many women leave trans space as soon as they can.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.