Only Thing

“Yeah,” TBB said to me.  “Being big is the only thing that works for me.   But just because I’m big doesn’t mean I can’t be uhhh…..”

“Graceful?” I suggested.

“Graceful,” she agreed.  “You would have been so proud of me.   We were taking down a fence and I deliberately went back to the truck, got a notepad and sketched the parts before taking it down.  When we were through, someone asked ‘How do we get this back together?’  I pulled out my sketch and asked ‘Would this help?’  They were thrilled.

“Ten years and I finally learned how to just lay back some and be graceful.  I’m learning.  Dr. J took me to see her boat, and my old merchant marine training started to kick in, but I realized that was who I was, not who I am.   I just told her ‘This is my old life,” and laid back.  She was cool with that.

“Besides,” she continued, “I told her that she should just sell this boat and get a new one that doesn’t need the upkeep she doesn’t have time for anymore.”

“Sounds like a sensible woman answer to me,” I agreed.

“Dr J has such a straightforward view, not looking around.  It will be challenging for her to be happy with a man,” TBB said.

“Reminds me of that line Nia Vardalos used in My Big Fat Greek Wedding,”  I said  “Yes, the man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck.  The head looks where the neck wants it to.”

TBB laughed.  “Dr J just doesn’t do that wiggle, that looking around, all that checking out how people are and what the options may be.

“But I am doing more of it,” she announced.

“Yes.  You have moved away from manview, and you are finding ways to take power as a woman.  Gosh, that was the first thing I ever said to you and Holly and Renee Chevalier, that first morning of my first SCC.  ‘Men and women take power differently in the world.  How do you shift your power?'”

“I’m learning,” she said.

“After all, it’s the only thing that lets me be both big and graceful at the same time.”

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