At “Rooted,” a retreat for Trans-Christians held last month in Chicago, one of the exercises was to write a “love note” to other trans/trans affiliated people. Because trans is so often rooted in negative identity — we are not sure who or what we are, but we are very clear on what we are not … Continue reading A Love Note
“In cultures where gender is rigidly bi-polar, rituals of gender crossing remind us of our continuous common humanity.” — Anne Bolin, anthropologist The moment I heard Anne say that at Southern Comfort 1993, I knew it was my personal mission statement. Democracy — and community — only works when we first respect what we share. … Continue reading Motive Enemy
Imagine a meeting room at the library filled with 100 people from the community, ready to hear about the homosexuals who live among us. A panel, lead by a board member of a reproductive rights organization, includes a medical doctor, a trained therapist, and the mother of a homosexual. There are two homosexuals on the … Continue reading They Are Among Us
There you go! I was just waiting for this to come up, you proving that you are completely wrong about people like me. This happens all the time, people like you deliberately misunderstanding, trying to twist things to put us down. I really do want to listen to you, but if you keep insisting on … Continue reading Set You Straight
My life has been a constant stagger between “That’s way too much information!” and “Why didn’t you tell me that right away?” I have never known exactly how much information I should disclose in any given interaction with other humans. Watching them glaze over, turn away or, worst, recoil in disgust when I show them … Continue reading Transactional Timbre
“Save Me! Save Me!” I have heard that cry from many over the decades as they desperately wanted someone or something to ease their pain, assuage their loss, focus their energy, unlock their possibilities and heal their tortured soul. Like any healer, though, the best I could do is offer some comfort, clear away some … Continue reading Salvation
The challenge of trans is compromise. As transpeople, we are very clear that we are not simply one or the other but rather have elements across a range of continuous common humanity that we need to balance, need to hold, need to compromise. As we do this, we hold the truth that the challenge of … Continue reading Price Of Awareness
There was a time that social services came with a catch. To get what you needed, you had to show that you could be saved by whatever doctrine the organization which provided the services held as sacred and true. To get a bowl of soup and a mat for the night, the prayer service was … Continue reading Flock That
My name isn’t important. I have never been out to make a name for myself, to be remembered. Like so many nameless servants of something larger than all of us over the millennia, my work isn’t about my personal label. It is the ideas I offer, the messages I bring, the knowledge that I share … Continue reading Not My Name
Do I eat my feelings? Of course I do. What are the other choices? I have tried to share my feelings for my entire life and ended up being told that I was too intense, too overwhelming, too queer, too confusing, too challenging, too weird. Sometimes that meant people just walking away and sometimes it … Continue reading Eat It
I have been thinking a lot about what I would say if they asked me to speak at First Event next weekend. I know what the audience wants, a pep talk, a feel good speech about transgender and affirmation, which probably includes an attack on the enemies that scare the shit out of us, who … Continue reading Evil & You
Michael Adams, CEO of SAGE, knows that the LGBT movement has to change tack to address the new challenges offered by trans & queer people to established identity blocks. To discuss this, he got together Mara Keisling of NCTE, Carmen Vasquez of NYS Department of Health and Kate Kendall of the National Center for Lesbian … Continue reading Beyond Identity Politics
“They wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped them on the face at high noon in Times Square!” We live in a world where what we doubt most is other people’s vision of the truth. They keep saying things that we, for some reason, see as wildly wrong, biased, inaccurate or stupid. Maybe what they … Continue reading Incredible
Follow your bliss, Joseph Campbell said. Be exuberant, feçund and prolific in the world, trusting your gifts and making the most of them. Do what you are called to do and the power will flow through you. So many of us work hard to play small, to deny who we are inside, to try and … Continue reading Kali’s Daughter
Halloween is the high holiday for crossdressers. It isn’t a good day for all other transpeople, though. Back in the 1990s, I gave a blurb for the local trans groups Halloween party to the gay & lesbian council’s newsletter. “I fixed your piece,” the president told me. “You said the event was a kickoff to … Continue reading Scary Out
After my parents died, I went to grief support sessions at a local cancer support centre. The people in the room understood a bit of heartbreak, but they also understood the goal: to get their nice, normal little lives back. They chatted about events they went to and reminders, but all in a sweet, small … Continue reading Tragedy, Rage & Ritual
Every human life is a dance with tragedy. Heartbreaking things happen all the time. The challenge each of us has is finding a way to heal, to learn, to move on from tragedy, making the most of what we do have rather than being sunk by our pain and our losses. “The Loneliness Of A … Continue reading Essential Tragedy
Every teenager believes they created the world from scratch. No one has ever felt like they do, for their first times, first challenges, first feelings are the first that ever existed in their own world. Adolescents have to create themselves, assembling a new identity. They don’t have the time, intention or capacity to wonder … Continue reading Scratch
Who is binary anyway? I know that some transpeople identify as “non-binary,” but is anyone really binary? Do they have an exact opposite somewhere, some kind of anti-them who they can pair off with to complete a binary? Humans are “jagged,” to use the term Todd Rose uses in his “The End Of Average.” … Continue reading Jagged Joy
You can’t tell how queer someone is by looking at them. Trans is not, in the end, about outward expression, rather it is about inward knowledge and how we let that awareness influence our choices in the world. A tabloid site published a photograph of the recently departed Alexis Arquette with a headline that she … Continue reading Beyond Formless
Callan 