Motive Enemy

“In cultures where gender is rigidly bi-polar, rituals of gender crossing remind us of our continuous common humanity.” — Anne Bolin, anthropologist The moment I heard Anne say that at Southern Comfort 1993, I knew it was my personal mission statement. Democracy — and community — only works when we first respect what we share. … Continue reading Motive Enemy

Salvation

“Save Me!   Save Me!” I have heard that cry from many over the decades as they desperately wanted someone or something to ease their pain, assuage their loss, focus their energy, unlock their possibilities and heal their tortured soul. Like any healer, though, the best I could do is offer some comfort, clear away some … Continue reading Salvation

Eat It

Do I eat my feelings? Of course I do. What are the other choices?  I have tried to share my feelings for my entire life and ended up being told that I was too intense, too overwhelming, too queer, too confusing, too challenging, too weird. Sometimes that meant people just walking away and sometimes it … Continue reading Eat It

Scary Out

Halloween is the high holiday for crossdressers.  It isn’t a good day for all other transpeople, though. Back in the 1990s, I gave a blurb for the local trans groups Halloween party to the gay & lesbian council’s newsletter. “I fixed your piece,” the president told me.   “You said the event was a kickoff to … Continue reading Scary Out

Scratch

Every teenager believes they created the world from scratch.   No one has ever felt like they do, for their first times, first challenges, first feelings are the first that ever existed in their own world. Adolescents have to create themselves, assembling a new identity.   They don’t have the time, intention or capacity to wonder … Continue reading Scratch

Jagged Joy

Who is binary anyway? I know that some transpeople identify as “non-binary,”  but is anyone really binary?   Do they have an exact opposite somewhere, some kind of anti-them who they can pair off with to complete a binary? Humans are “jagged,” to use the term Todd Rose uses in his “The End Of Average.” … Continue reading Jagged Joy