Holidays are for sharing. They are moments when we come together and share ourselves; stories we shouldn’t forget, principles we value, relationships that formed us, beliefs that strengthen us, connections that feed us, people that we love. It is this sharing in a moment out of time that makes holy days and holidays very special … Continue reading Holidaze
I knew that, on camera, when you walk into a room in your own home, you must know where the light switch is. You can’t need to look. Or else it’s a lie, which is like giving the audience a pinch of poison. When you tell a story, you have to take liberties. You compress … Continue reading Feeling It Out
I often do the exercise of imagining what I might say if I got a chance to speak to a specific audience, so I was just spit balling a presentation for Connecticut Trans Advocacy Coalition’s Transgender Lives Conference which focuses on clinical professionals and transpeople. Trans-Empowerment: Believing In Yes Trans people grow up being taught … Continue reading Trans-Empowerment: Believing In Yes
I know why I don’t show myself. My expectation is that I am too much for the room and nobody will get the joke, as in “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh,” as Voltaire put it. This is my lifemyth and it contains truth. My soundly reasoned explanation of … Continue reading Revelation
Who is binary anyway? I know that some transpeople identify as “non-binary,” but is anyone really binary? Do they have an exact opposite somewhere, some kind of anti-them who they can pair off with to complete a binary? Humans are “jagged,” to use the term Todd Rose uses in his “The End Of Average.” … Continue reading Jagged Joy
They were putting me through the standard mental health screening, asking about eating, sleeping, staying in, all that. I was clearly in the at risk side on these questions, as a alone as I am in the world. “Do you feel like you have let down your friends and family? Do you feel like you … Continue reading Over Transcendent
Where are the wins? Where do you find the glints that keep hope and optimism alive? The front door has been broken since the morning of my birthday. That means I use the garage door. In this weather, that means cold comes in and everything in there has frozen, down to the cans of beans, … Continue reading Where Are The Wins?
When I look at my middle period writings — the stuff from around 1994 to 2000 — I see one key question that seeds through all of it. (For the record, while I wrote bad trans fiction as early as 1973, some of it published in Female Impersonator News out of Belmar, New Jersey, my … Continue reading Period
One of the things I don’t have, one of the things that it would be valuable to have, and one of the things I despair of ever having, is a simple story. People don’t grasp complex instantly. Their overall capacity to grasp complexity, with all its contradictory facets, is directly related to their life experience with … Continue reading A Simple Story
Dallas Denny reports that the brilliant Holly Boswell died this weekend. Holly was there for me, opening gates for me, listening from when I met her in 1993. I have a collection of hundreds of letters I sent to her, overwhelming her, but also knowing she was safe with my heart. Holly was so important … Continue reading Holly & Rainbows
I really don’t mind being the grown up, the parent, the mother. It’s a lovely way to share and take care of the people that I love. I do mind, however, always having to be the grown up, the parent, the mother. I was adultified very early, having to take care of parents whose emotional … Continue reading A Mother’s Journey
TBB lives in a very rich and very full world. Returning to the Space Coast from her work as Chief Engineer on the Bell M Shimada, Sabrina is right at home. Staff at restaurants greet her by name, the gang at the airport count on her as one of the gang and her network of … Continue reading TBB World
Very early, I came to the realization that with my bones, I could never pass for having gone through puberty as a female. I was living with a born female woman who is 6′ 3″ and has size 13 feet when I first came out as trans, understanding how different her female-bodied experience was from … Continue reading Actualization Overload
In management, there are two basic ways of creating structure in a business. The first is imposing structure; creating a system that you have invented and then training the people to play their roles in that system. This can easily be seen in an assembly line. In that structure, people are just mostly just playing … Continue reading Imposed or Organic?