Fire & Ice

Trans is hot. It is a wild white heat in your heart, burning Eros that calls you to break the mould, cross the lines, break the boundaries to claim your own essential truth beyond norms and expectations. This culture, though, is cool. It expects a tame chill compliance, a frosty bearing, a kind of insulated … Continue reading Fire & Ice

Nine

I am beginning to suspect that there are only so many times that you can save your own life. For straight people, the ones who take well travelled paths, this never really becomes a big problem.   They love the idea of a little bit of reinvention in their lives, something to spice up the daily. … Continue reading Nine

Broken & Disgusting

“Transpeople are sick people,” the experts said, “psychologically unstable and capable of depraved and anti-social behaviour. “Doesn’t that show that we were right in pathologizing them, marking them as sick and doing our best to channel them into normative roles?” Which comes first for transpeople, the breaking or the being broken? Were transpeople twisted because … Continue reading Broken & Disgusting

You Don’t Understand!

“You just don’t understand!” every teenager eventually moans to their parent. “You couldn’t possibly understand!   You clearly don’t feel it deeply, like I do!   If you did, you wouldn’t be so callous and dismissive, saying that I will get over it!   This is real, real, real and deeper than you can imagine!” When emotions sweep … Continue reading You Don’t Understand!

Eat It

Do I eat my feelings? Of course I do. What are the other choices?  I have tried to share my feelings for my entire life and ended up being told that I was too intense, too overwhelming, too queer, too confusing, too challenging, too weird. Sometimes that meant people just walking away and sometimes it … Continue reading Eat It