What constitutes a failed transsexual? I’m not sure that there is anything like a failed transvestite; unless you are following someone’s rules, like FPE/SSS how can you fail. And I don’t think that transgender is something you can fail; it’s a process to claim yourself in the world beyond gendered boundaries. This may or may … Continue reading Failed Transsexual
Would it surprise you that most people don’t choose their gender expression as a bold statement of individuality, of how they stand apart from the system of gender? Instead, most people see their gender expression as a form of advertising, a way to indicate to others what role they are trained and willing to play … Continue reading Gender & Duty
My life has been a constant stagger between “That’s way too much information!” and “Why didn’t you tell me that right away?” I have never known exactly how much information I should disclose in any given interaction with other humans. Watching them glaze over, turn away or, worst, recoil in disgust when I show them … Continue reading Transactional Timbre
If you are trans, the odds are high that the most important thing you consider when you get dressed in the morning is how you can be well enough defended to walk through the world. You see, if a non-trans person goes into the world dressed less than perfectly, some might think them sloppy or … Continue reading Getting Dressed
My body betrayed me. The arc of a human life is usually to start by being embodied, sensing the world around you and feeling your responses to it, then to gain wisdom & perspective as you age, learning to keep sensations in a more thoughtful context, growing your mind and your story. For me, though, … Continue reading Body Break
Being in the moment, being present in a way that moves beyond expectations, assumptions and projections, is the key to finding the divine surprises which life can offer you. Engaging these surprises offers the miracle of shifting perceptions, seeing our shared world in a new way which can lead us to integrated and actualized choices … Continue reading Animating Force
A friend of mine compared [transgender emergence] to jumping out of a plane without a parachute, only to discover that you have wings. Because, you really don’t know until you take that leap, and then, you know what? You’ve got to learn to fly. — Amanda Simpson, Refinery 29, March 2015 A bit of advice … Continue reading Self-Ordained
““If you’re out there and, to be honest with you, if you look like a man in a dress, it makes people uncomfortable. So the first thing I can do is try to present myself well. I want to dress well. I want to look good. When I go out, as Kim says, you’ve got … Continue reading If You Are
Wouldn’t it be great if the whole world were more like a TV show? Things would be so much prettier and more interesting, with lots of emotional exchanges and plot lines full of what you crave, the kind of stories that take you for a ride while affirming what you already believe, that there are … Continue reading Producing Trans
It’s easy for transpeople to feel like fraudulent bastards. We have no family that really wants to claim us, from our family of origin to the lesbian and gay community. For their own reasons, they all seem to want to keep us separate and apart so as not to reflect badly on their reputation. Because … Continue reading Legitimate
Our erotic desire is shaped by how we want to hold onto cock. Do we want to put our own in a hole, do we want one to enter our hole, or do we want to avoid it altogether? And then there is what our partner wants to do with cock. Do they want to … Continue reading Letting Go Of Your Cock
Be bold, be free and claim the truth of who you know yourself to be. It’s an easy recommendation. It’s an almost impossible choice. Humans, you see are connected. We are tethered to each other in oh, so many ways. And the tethers are tender. So many transwomen this week talking about the reasons they … Continue reading Untethered
My sister claims that she threatened to call the authorities and lie to them about me being dangerous to my parents as a failed form of “emotional manipulation” to get me to do what was good for me. I have been thinking about that — yes, I have very low levels of “latent inhibition” and … Continue reading 1157
The Private Story What’s the opposite of life affirming? Life denying? Life erasing? Life destroying? Catharsis isn’t always healing. That was a surprise to the people at Kripalu Yoga Center in the Berkshires who ran a bizarre mixture of Ashram Light and “Inner Child” pop psychology called “Inner Quest Intensive.” Luckily, though, they didn’t have … Continue reading Resisting Calling To the Point Of Self Destruction
