If what all trans people share is their abjection — defined as being cast off, degraded, contemptible, defined as the converse of privilege — then who the hell is going to want to identify as trans? For many trans activists, though, this state of abjection is the at heart of their own belief system, and … Continue reading Not Abjection
For most women, when they don’t wear the most flattering clothes for their shape, they just look a little less attractive. For me, when I don’t do that, people read me as a man.. That’s what I was thinking after the big black gent turned to hold the door, looked at me and said “Oh, … Continue reading Arrogance & Abjection
“You better work, gurl.” — RuPaul’s essential coaching advice I believe in empowerment. And the only way to empowerment that I have ever found is to work. Nobody ever hands you power just because you whine the best. Work gives us a way to make change, to feel pride, to develop skills, to contribute to … Continue reading Facilitatress
“I took care of my partner while he was sick, until he passed three months ago,” one man at my Sage Table said. At that moment, all the women cooed in sympathy and commiseration, showing that they felt the emotional impact, wanting to convey their support to him in his time of loss. It was … Continue reading Aging Sighs
“And we have groups for trans kids,” the program director for the local gay & lesbian centre told the seminar on trans health issues. “Aren’t trans kids just amazing?” they burbled to the audience. If trans kids are an amazing group, then what group isn’t amazing? The answer bubbled to the top soon afterwards in … Continue reading Every Trans, Kid.
After my parents died, I went to grief support sessions at a local cancer support centre. The people in the room understood a bit of heartbreak, but they also understood the goal: to get their nice, normal little lives back. They chatted about events they went to and reminders, but all in a sweet, small … Continue reading Tragedy, Rage & Ritual
The biggest problem facing transgender activists is that for most transpeople their activism period is quite short. They aren’t activists until they emerge as trans, not fighting from the closet, and they only stay activists until they find a way to assimilate, blending into a full life. While gay & lesbian are lifetime identities … Continue reading Activism Period
“Oh, brilliant one, so wise, calm, centred and authentic, powerful because you are comfortable in your own skin, what is the answer to ascension? How can I own my own life, become gracious in the world? Just tell me and I will do it!” Telling stories about making hard choices, about taking responsibility, about finding … Continue reading Not That Answer!
Everyone loves a good legend. When we hear a story that quickly and effectively invokes magical power in the world, we pay attention. In an information economy, attention is the ultimate currency. When we get someone to pay attention to us, to what we are selling, we have the opportunity to win them over to … Continue reading Writing Legend
The last few years have stripped away my momentum, the steely will that drove my service in the world. Being so deeply immersed in scarcity, my pellicle has been washed away, leaving me raw and exposed. In that process, the micro terrors I have held all my life came to the surface. My experience, from … Continue reading Micro Terrors
WordPress has an automatic engine that adds a “Related Posts” section at the end of entries, so one of the few people who read “Sprightly Voices” chose to follow a link to a 2014 post titled “Horribly Beautiful Voice.” From there they followed an internal link to a 1995 entry on my old site, “The … Continue reading Ecstatic
It’s easy to love a blank slate. When someone is fresh, empty, without history, malleable and new, you can imagine them being anyone you want them to be. That’s why men so often have the hots for vacant appearing young women. They appear to be without baggage and knowledge, so they accept whatever you bring … Continue reading Projectable
“So, do you you want to be powerful or powerless?” “Isn’t there a third answer?” What is the power you desire in the world? What is the responsibility and obligation you dread in the world? What are you willing to stand for and what are you willing to stand against? These are the questions of … Continue reading Sweet Power
Jesus Loves You, but everyone else thinks that you’re an asshole. — Schoolyard Taunt If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. — Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me When you feel forsaken by a world that seems to want to find any reason to slap people like you, losing sight … Continue reading Forsaken Rebirth
I have never, ever been what you might call a hopeful person. My trepidation about all the possible bad outcomes often paralyzes me, which, I regret to say, often leads to worse outcomes. A vivid imagination can really scare you straight, or at least incapacitate you when facing risks. When you are stuck doing things … Continue reading Expecting
TBB suggested I respond to a friend who wanted to know about protests against a feminist in the UK. I wrote 800 words. Trans is a very, very individual journey. Gay men and lesbians come out because they want to hook up with other gay men or lesbians, so the desire to fit in, to … Continue reading Builders and Bombthrowers
So she’s sitting in my [barber] chair and she shows me the photo. And I said put that phone down! Just ’cause you’re transitioning does not mean I have to see a picture of what your junk is gonna look like. — “Clipped,” TNT, 8 August 2015 There has been a flurry of media attention … Continue reading So Shallow
In the territory of the mind, reason is the foundation. It was my mind that became my most important survival tool, working to apply good reasoning to understand the chaos around and inside of me. Being reasonable, with clear thoughts bounding and constraining everything else in the world became my grail. In my twenties, I … Continue reading Unreasonable
I don’t believe in special relationships. I don’t believe that there is someone out there who is my perfect match, the one person in the world who can save me, rescuing me from all my pain. The world is not voodoo, a place where we search for magic bullets and short cuts, the world is … Continue reading Relationship Belief
As a change eater, someone who stands for the possibility of real transformation in the world, one of my hardest and most wearing jobs is to hold open the space for others around me to become new. It is this job, though, that is the foundation of any healing power that I offer. To achieve … Continue reading Possibility Culture
Callan 