Heart On

Who is a woman without someone to love? I loved the people assigned to me, my birth family,  in ways that cost me dearly.   That love, though, was at the heart of my feminine nature. And now, I need someone else, something else to love.   This time, though, when I am choosing, I want one … Continue reading Heart On

Good Grief

My doctor is changing their patient portal, so it was suggested I download my charts for archiving.   One diagnosis in the list caught my eye. Grief. It’s on there because they know I directly cared for my parents in their last decade. I don’t think, though, my doctor understands how grief is part of the … Continue reading Good Grief

Impassioned

“It’s not the frivolity of women that makes them so intolerable. It’s their ghastly enthusiasm.” — Horace Rumpole, “Rumpole Of The Bailey” (John Mortimer) When you are a delightful gamine creature, enthusiasm is seen as a charming affectation. When you are a big, hulking lug, though, enthusiasm is seen as a terrifying potential lack of … Continue reading Impassioned

Happy

It has come to my attention that after a lifetime of living defended, in my head, I don’t really know what happy is anymore. I know what focused is, what professional is, what contemplative is, what smart is, all those things. Happy, though, well that has never been a place I know how to go. … Continue reading Happy