When You Can

Changing your choices can change the flow and the outcome of your life.   Your choices are the only control that you have in the world.

The important thing about changing your choices, though, is to do it when you can.   Waiting too long is a choice in itself, a choice to not choose, to not do what you can to make things better.

When we talk about the regrets in our lives, we usually focus on the choices we didn’t make, the choices that we knew were right, the choices that even appeared inevitable, but the choices we put into the “too hard” basket and delayed.

Wanting to not let go of what you have now is very human.  Between looking at loss and the challenges of change, it’s easy to decide not to decide.

Looking back, though, it is the choices we didn’t make that cost us most dearly.  Hindsight is 20/20, as they say, but ignorance and wishes don’t usually set us up for success.    Creating new and better takes work, requires the bold choices that create a foundation for the future.  Just staying comfortable, appropriate and easy rarely helps build a more effective life.

I tell you this from a time when the choices I made in my life have caught up with me.   Yes, I made the best choices I could in every moment, but those choices mostly came from a real sense of scarcity, repression and damage.

I couldn’t imagine that there was anyplace to support me being bigger, so when my friend told me at 18 that I needed to run away, test my wings, discover my power and trust my possibilities, that was beyond my imagining.   I stayed codependent with my parents, tied down and care taking, following a feminine and hidden heart.

The message we most want to send to the past is simple: Go for it.  Use your exuberance and resilience to create the basis for a big, bold and beautiful life.  Don’t get seduced by comfort or afraid of risk, just go for it.

The right time to make better choices is anytime that you can.   That almost always means “Now.”

At some point in your life your past will begin to overwhelm your future.  By then, most of your profound and powerful choices will have been made.   All you can do is reshape around the edges, working on details which seem, ultimately,  less and less important.

Take the shot, follow your bliss, say yes to your dreams.  The wisdom inside of you is there, under the ego voice that wants all the “what if” questions answered, that wants to avoid discomfort, that fears change.

Do this when your possibilities are still huge and malleable.   Sure, it’s tough to do this alone, but trust that showing yourself more brilliantly will bring you the support and affirmation you need.   People can’t rally around your dreams until they see them, and they will never be able to see them until you act on them.

We each come from a context, a time and place.   Transcending exceptions and assumptions that context includes is hard, but it is possible if you start early, work smart & hard and are incredibly persistent.

The best time to make better choices is when you can.

How about now?

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