You are a smart person. We know that. You can figure out what people want, what people like. I just have one question for you: Why don't you just give the people what they expect? Wouldn't that make your life much easier? Wouldn't you get the kind of affirmation and value that you want when people really want to hear what you have to say because it lines up well with what they already know? You spend so much damn time and energy fighting the tide, trying to get people to hear you, and it's just not working. Aren't you sick of that? Isn't that what's making you sick? Did you ever think that you are the one causing trouble for yourself, you are the one keeping yourself down? Are you trying to self-sabotage? Do you like failure? Because if you didn't, well, you would have learned how to satisfy an audience by now, learned how to make them happy, learned how to make them like you. I know you can do it if you put your mind to it. You are likeable, you know, funny and smart. You can charm the punters if you want. You don't have to start with the intellectual, the challenging, the highfalutin; you can start with the kind of stuff that gets them on your side. Then, when they like you, you can slip in some of that edgy stuff, the kind that makes them think they are really thinking too. Face it: the key reason you are lonely and lost is because of you. You get what you put out. People return that same bristling crap you give them, walking away from you because you just choose to be so damn ornery. You are your own worst enemy, you know, choosing to push people away with your own wall of toxic emotions and negative words. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to take the time and effort to push through that, and even if they tried, you would just make up some new crap to keep them away. I swear that I believe you want to be alone and hurting. The law of attraction says we get back what we give, and you give a poisoned kind of vibe. Sure, you have some good stuff in what you write, but you coat with with all that emotional crap, all the pain and hurt that just makes people turn away and write you off as an old, sick, loser. Isn't it just stupid to continue the same game that alienated your family, making them turn away from you? They wanted to love you, they did, but you just made it too hard for them, pushing them away at every turn. You say you want people to understand what you say, but how can that be true when what you say just angers and offends them, upsets and disgusts them, making them not want to hear anymore? You have to go along to get along. You know that. You are smart enough to figure that out. But somehow, that's not the choice you make, is it? Instead, you choose to be prickly like a porcupine, just so you can be all smug and self-satisfied when people reject you like you know that they will. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, my friend, a loop of shame, a downward spiral, a plunge into an abyss of your own making. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Do you want to stay miserable, or do you want to use your smarts to bring people to you, to let them see the best in you? How hard can it be to close up some doors, to not parade all your dirty laundry, to actually be attractive, being in the moment rather than bringing up all the same old shit time and time and time again? You can bitch and moan and try to blame everyone else for not getting what you put out, but do you ever even think that you are responsible for how you are in the world? When you choose to be a downer, a kvetch, always looking to the dark side, well, maybe that tells you what you are going to get back. Did you ever think about that? Did you? Look, I like you. I see how you can be a good person, taking care of others, meeting them where they are, giving them what they want and need. But I also see how you choose not to do that, not to just be likeable, fitting into the crowd, being one of us. You stand outside you are going to be outside, outside in the cold and dark, just asking for the shit you get. You know that. I'm sure I'm not the first person to tell you this, that this isn't the first time you are hearing it. Why, why, why do you make your own life so miserable? Give the people what they want, do what they expect, and they will be happy to embrace you and let you be there to take care of them, to entertain and service them. They just want someone to say what they are thinking, someone to put their own understandings and desires into words, and you can do that, I know that you can. What is the point of telling people what they obviously don't want to hear over and over again? Do you think that repeating the same junk will make people care? One definition of insanity, you know, is doing the same think over and over again, expecting different results. Insane. Stop being a chump, a whiner, a loser. You don't have to be stupid, you really don't, but somehow you keep making stupid choices that make other people move away from you and then complaining you are alone and lost. You own your life and your choices, you know. You make your own future. Smarts you seem to have, it's just that you don't want to use them. People want to like you, they really do, but how can they do that unless you give them what they want, what they know that they need? Be who they like and the will like you. It's that simple. Unless, of course, you are just too damn stupid to do something that simple.