“People expect me to do what is expected of every transgender person,” she says. “I have to be that voice to tell them that I’m my own transgender. I’m not what people say I have to be. Or what transgenders do or how they live their lives. I live my life.”
— Tim Smith, The Prancing Elites
“I’m my own transgender.” Yup, girl, you got it. You speak for each of us in that. Trans has never been about conforming to some group norm, it has always been about claiming our own precious, beautiful and unique heart.
The episode (S2E4) where after six years of living as a woman Tim asks her mother to call her “she,” to respect her heart and possibilities over her body and history, is heartbreaking. Mom just can’t let go.
Producers prodded the other team members to bring up the issue, asking Tim to stand up, but what Tim is negotiating is what every transperson has to: How do I balance my needs, my connections & relationships, especially to family, the way people see me, and more in the way I identify in the world?
Seeing Tim be so vulnerable to ask her family to respect what she knows in her heart, what she shows on her skin everyday was tough but beautiful. It’s part of the process each one of us has to go through, and like everything else, it takes facing resistance, knowing that healing always takes time and patience.
“I’m my own transgender.”
That’s the message, right there, spoken as well as anyone can say it.
Thanks, Tim. And blessings for what looks to be an incredible journey, eh?