Doctors need to know a whole ocean of stuff. They not only need to know about how the whole body interacts, they have to know what can go wrong, and not just the normal things. They train for years for a reason, learning to think like doctors, swimming in the sea of medical knowledge and practice.
When they get a patient, though, they can’t just dump all that stuff onto them. The first step in caring for someone is making them feel cared for. They need to believe you see them, that you are focused on their problems.
Doctors need to know how to do a drip feed of communication. They have to take all that stuff they know and very selectively share it with the patient, reaching into an enormous bag of tools and choosing only what is needed in this interaction.
Until and unless someone starts asking smart questions, showing that they are ready for more information, it’s easiest to tell them what they need to know now and not to overwhelm them with too much information. Why do people need to worry a lot about improbable risks when their energy can be much better spent in healing?
Spiritual healers have the same challenge. You can’t just have one solution, one approach for all, but neither can you dump a lifetime of knowledge and work onto someone and expect them to use any of it effectively.
One on one, in conversation, my caring is focused on you. I listen closely, staying aware and present so that I can tailor my conversation to where you are. I find language that echoes yours, ideas you already understand and very specifically select techniques and assignments that should help you find your own healing.
This kind of bespoke attention isn’t really doable in writing, unless you are very specific about defining your audience. Assuming that people fit effectively into group identities, though, rather than being individuals with a unique and special essence, well, that doesn’t really fit with my understanding of humans. It’s vital to me that you become more you, the best you that you can be, not just one of the followers trusting your growth and healing to some external system.
When Marianne Williamson did her talks on ACIM, she divided the session into two parts. She started with a lesson, but then opened the floor to any questions. Many attendees said that while they would never work in text, the interactive parts of the event were the most useful and insightful to them.
We start learning by listening to other people’s conversations when we are very young, eavesdropping on family. Humans know how to follow a chat, know how to read what is important in it. Understandings are always more powerful when we figure them out for ourselves, putting two and two together to make six.
How do I share conversations with seekers in a way that exposes my hard won knowledge in a drip feed other people can get their head and their heart around?
The work of facilitating healing is mostly around helping remove the blocks to healing. By getting rid of what resists healing, be that microbes or mental choices, we open the space for change and transformation.
Confronting resistance is the most important part of that drip feed.
Most resistance is hard fought, based in choices that we believe have survival value, even if that value is just comforting us emotionally. Being soothed after the battle is something that humans need desperately if you want them to get up tomorrow and fight again.
Somehow, it is always easier to see someone else’s resistance challenged than it is to have your own resistance confronted, no matter how much tenderness and wit the examination includes. Even when their issues mirror yours, you can see them with a kind of compassion and objectivity which is beyond what you can offer to yourself.
As much as it might seem like a good idea to wash away resistance with a flood, people heal in their own time and in their own way. A drip feed respects that truth, wearing away what blocks us from healing one droplet at a time, eroding what took a long time to build.
No one can change everything they believe and understand in one fell swoop. Healing and growing takes time. If you run out of time, or the life force that lets you push through time, before the healing occurs, well, game over. That’s why it is so important to take the medicine while you ca, finding a bit of healing everyday.
The more you can take, the faster you can move forward, so building up the practice of engaging what can teach and heal you is vital to becoming better. It takes a while to build an ocean of understanding, but it is possible, one drop at a time.
Finding a way to help people overcome resistance by offering them a droplet of knowledge at a time is important, but it is impossible to do without feedback. I need to know where they are and understand what they need and can take today.
Being ready to give that feedback, to engage healing, to overcome resistance is at the core of this process. Are you ready to take the drip feed, ready to let it wash your resistance away so you can reveal yourself, so you can learn to swim in the ocean of knowledge and understanding?
Or do you just want to dry up and blow away?