Awakening To The Illusions

The first exercise Peggy [Feury, of the Loft Studio] gave me was to acquire an object from another actor. . .  I worked hard throughout the scene. After it was over, Peggy said, “Anjelica, you’re a tall and imposing girl, a big presence. When you ask for something, you don’t need to extend your hand. You have our attention.” It was a great piece of advice. It was the awakening in me to the illusion of confidence. I had not realized it until that moment, but I was pleading for things that I could have simply asked for.
— Anjelica Huston, Watch Me: A Memoir

It’s these moments of external impression that transpeople so often struggle with.

How do we know how others see us?

How do we learn to get what we need in the world?

How do we awaken to the illusions we already carry in the world?

The first question I asked at the first panel I attended of the first trans conference I went to back in the early 90s was this.

“Men and women take power in the world in different ways.   How has your power shift been part of your gender shift?  How have you changed the way you get what you want and what you need?”

Holly Boswell, Renee Chevalier and Sabrina Marcus Taraboletti, three women who played key roles in my life, gave their present answer to that question.

For me, it still remains the core question in my own emergence.

How do we know how others see us?

How do we awaken to the illusions we already carry in the world?

How do we learn to get what we need in the world?

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