If the best we can get from other people is having them see transpeople as courageous and sick or having them see us as perverted and sick, that’s not much of a choice.
The slug line on the Rolloff’s show Little People Big World used to be “We want people to know that we can do everything other people do, just in our own way.”
Jeremy and Zach are twins, though people often don’t understand because Zach is little and Jeremy isn’t.
Jeremy married last year and Zach followed this year. Jeremy reciprocated in being the best man at his brother’s wedding. He had to follow in the tradition of a great speech. He said something like:
I’m the taller one, but I always looked up to you.
I saw the commitment and drive it took you to do things I took for granted, like playing soccer. Kids would mock you, you had to work much harder than the rest of us, but you kept working at it and became a good soccer player and a great coach.
You are picky about the commitments you make because you know how much they will cost, but I have seen that you are amazing at whatever you commit to.
Today you fully and lovingly commit to your wife and family, so I absolutely know you will be an amazing husband and father.
This is an ally, someone who knows that it isn’t about being sick and courageous or about being sick and broken, it is about being different and human.
Zach’s wedding to Tori was special because Zach is special and Tori is special because she sees past his physical body to what is inside of Zach.
I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and in the years to come.
— Anna Quindlen, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake
The amazing thing about outsiders is how they have had to focus on their personality and character rather than taking things for granted.
Jeremy really, really gets that, even as he helps his brother buy his first suit.
If we value ease and sameness, we see people not like us as broken and separate, as courageous beyond our understanding or just as weird and offputting
If we value character and personality, we see people not like us as someone who has different gifts that we can share.
Different people are human, just doing things in their own way. Simple lesson.