Riding the rim is hard.
Staying on that edge where you feel your emotions, letting them inform you, but where you stay capable of conscious choice is hard. It often seems much easier to dump that tension by staying far away from emotion or by just falling into the drama, rejecting the tension and staying in our own compartment.
That rim on the edge between thought and feeling, though, is the liminal, powerful place to stand. It gives the best of both worlds, though with the obligation to be mature and balanced enough to stay actively stable on the precipice.
Emotions are powerful things. They always pull us, are always somewhere in our heart.
Growing up gives us the skills, the discipline and the understanding to put emotions in context. It doesn’t take them away, but somehow, your twentieth crush has less hold over all of you than your first did. You still feel the pull, but it doesn’t throw you nearly so far off balance.
When your daughter leaves for her first prom, you know how she is feeling, and get a pang for that moment in your life, either with a memory or with a wish for a do over. You understand, though, how much that would bring you back into the craziness, so you can be happy for her, but not get crazy enough to chase those raw and untamed feelings again.
The challenge, like so many challenges in life, is learning what to say no to.
The minute you stop feeling the emotion you lose connection with your heart, so you need to say no to too much compartmentalization, too much substitution of the way you want things to be, or you will be lead astray by being disconnected from the feelings in your gut.
The minute you get lost in the emotion, you lose connection with your head, so you need to say no to too much sensation, too much allowing you to be swept away by sweet talk or sour anger, or you will be lead astray by being disconnected from the wisdom of your experience.
Riding the rim, feeling the emotion but not being controlled by it is he only way to maximize the experience of being human, melding our warm heart and our cool head.
Balance the pulls, keep the context and mature gracefully and the rim between thought and emotion can be an amazing place to be.