No Way Out

No Way Out  (For Leelah)
Callan Williams © 2015

Under the covers dreaming
such a beautiful world
swirl of a skirt
sly lipstick smile
attention of a lover
respect of a team
admiration of a community
life of a woman

Wake, though, to
locked doors
shame bombs
angry attacks
rigid beliefs
entitled destruction
terminal demands

Enforced isolation
dreams stopped
at the edge of our warm bed
aggressively forced
to hew to expectations
reducing us to meat.

The path from in here,
pretty, pink and dreamy
to out there
scraping through the bombshells
of shattered shaming shards
cutting us so deep
feels impossible.

Claiming a beautiful life
beyond the myopic bounds
family, friends, teachers
mocking, refusal, attack
splattered, punched. shot
too much, too far

Our one power
retreating forever into dreams
to slap back at a world
which crushes our possibilities
tender flowers of hope
stomped into dust
crushed underfoot.

Exit into blackness
explosion of despair
thermal shock between
the heat of our dreams
the coldness of context

The only way out of hell is through
braving the gauntlet to claim
beyond convention, beyond abuse
for that, though, dreams must be nurtured
held and shared to warm us.

Love happens
when we tenderly hold
the dreams of others
and not when
we fear and smash them
leaving broken hearts to see
no other way out.

2 thoughts on “No Way Out”

  1. Reply to a post on the Leelah topic on the local trans mailing list by a person calling themselves “Linda CD”

    Shame on you for trying to make look like the parents are to blame.

    As sad as it is, he was old enough to understand the situation and he made one with his free will. The parents didn’t accept his life style, but I’m sure it didn’t stop them from giving him their love. You guys are looking for just a BLIND support. I’m not going to support my child if I feel that my child is doing something that goes against my values. My love is always there and available for life.

    They didn’t push him, he jumped in that was his decision wrong one but it’s his. Now the world have to blame the parents, what’s next prosecute them for not accepting his life style?.

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