My voice is unimportant.
I am unimportant.
While it is good that I speak up, say my piece, asking for people to listen to me, to engage me, is a futile demand. Shouting louder at them doesn’t make anyone understand more.
My voice can only be heard when it resonates with something bigger than I am. If other people don’t feel the power that I invoke, the connections that I make, then they can’t engage what I share.
I know that my voice is not simple, not easy, not conventional. That makes it less than accessible for many.
When you find it difficult to make yourself heard, you have a few choices. One is to constrain your voice, to work hard to only say that which others can engage. One is to let go of the expectation of an audience and just say what you need to say, what you feel called to say with the sense that those who need to hear it will.
Living in an anechoic space, without the power of editors who can bridge the gap between work and audience, helping to shape expression so that more resonates, so that it seems less like noise, is a tough space for me. ‘
People heal and grow in their own way and their own time. You cannot make them what they are not, cannot change or transform them to your will or your needs.
Sure, if one is highly focused, young, enthusiastic, exuberant and resilient, one can just start the missionary process of saying the same thing over and over again to break their message to a wider audience. Once you get a beachhead, make people accustomed to your voice, you may be able to build your brand, expanding your message with more detail, nuance and breadth.
That is not me, though. It doesn’t describe the resources I have left to muster. It doesn’t describe the content I have to share.
Looking for a contact point, an opening, a handle which lets me create a connection between what I have to share and what others are ready to engage, between my voice and their accessibility, has been a constant struggle for me. One on one I can focus what I offer to their needs, but once they get a glimpse of my wider vision, they tend to shrink back, focusing on their own priorities and needs, and who can blame them for that?
Being out of synchronization with society, having the right content at the wrong time, is a very common challenge for visionaries. You become a tiny part of the swell for change and understanding, but not the face of it. If you are lucky, you become a footnote, if not, you are just one of the billions of humans who passed this way unremembered. That is not at all a bad or unreasonable fate.
I do believe that there are many people whose life has been affected by what I have shared. I will never know the impact of my voice, as it offers just one more small pebble that makes a tiny change in the flow of the life of another, directing them somewhere new. It is unreasonable to think that I should have awareness or rewards for the power of my presence, just as those who helped shape me just gave of themselves without expectation or demand.
The world is not about me, is not about my voice. I am just a tiny part of the world, one spark, one photon, one iota of a much bigger universe.
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
― Mahatma Gandhi
I say my piece and get more and more chilled, but such is life.