Disempowered

If there is a thread in my life, it is that my own disempowerment, based in an experience of disconnection, continues to grow and engulf me. My own agency continues to diminish rather than to grow.   This becomes a downward spiral. almost impossible to break.

I know that this is about attitude and approach.   I come from a family where disempowerment was the norm.   I am firmly in a population where disempowerment is the norm.   I live in an area where disepowerment is expected.

Over the years, I have worked hard to help others around me feel capable, strong and empowered.  I have encouraged them to be playful, creative and committed, believing in their capacity to make change in their world.   I have worked to give them courage, based in the belief that they can get what they need, if not what they want.

This kind of reflection of the best in people is the only way I know to give them the power to take risks, make connections, and have their own value fed back to them by the community in a nourishing, healing and lifting way.    Believing in them is the only way I know to unlock their potential, to get them stronger and healthier.

Affirmation that others see you as potent and not abject is the way we move beyond our own brokenness.  Belief begets belief.

I have not been able to find the kind of reflection that I lack.   I am stuck in a disempowerment spiral, connecting with other people over sickness and not strength.

And that just makes me more incapacitated and disempowered, not less.