My sister thinks she is “a lucky girl” because someone came in to pick up and give order to the mess in her house while she was on vacation.
She is, in the parlance of social media, #Blessed, living in the grace of the universe.
What does this mean for people who don’t get such services, such benefits, for the ones of us who are ignored, betrayed, and damaged by what we get?
Are we #Cursed?
God didn’t come and give structure & accessibility to the dump that was my sister’s house.
I did, even though she is still assuming that her balloon clown boyfriend did because being indebted to me means she has to again see where she has failed me,
It wasn’t a magic blessing. It was an act of caring, of love, of service, of discipline, of sweat, of pushing past anger and frustration, of doing the right thing beyond pain. It was an even an act of selfishness, hoping that if I made it easier for her to think and act, taking away the clutter in her house, if not her mind, she would have more resource to consider and act on the needs she committed to resolve for me and for an executors cut of my parent’s estate.
But to her, she is just #Lucky.
The fact that I don’t have such care, such consideration and service, means that I am just #Screwed. God has favoured her while God has left me to suffer. The results aren’t about work, they are divine justice.
When people decide that they deserve the #Blessings that they get, they also decide that people without #Blessings must just not deserve them. They are #Lucky while other people are #Losers. They are #Entitled and those without #Blessings are just #Godless.
As a queer person, I grew up knowing the deal. My job was to make sure that normative people were never made uncomfortable by my own deviance. If I was hurt by the expectations laid onto me, well, didn’t I bring that on to myself by being queer? Didn’t I deserve what I was getting?
The entitled were entitled and the others were put there to serve them. Sure, the marginalized didn’t have the #Blessings of the colonizers, but if God hadn’t made them inferior, they wouldn’t be slaves now, would they?
Every person in society pays some price for assimilating. Transpeople know that because we are often victims of that price, of people acting out their anger and pain against us as they see us mocking the sacrifices they made to be normal. The homophobic men are the ones who work hardest to deny their own homoerotic desire, a study has shown, internalized denial and rage turned outward at queers.
For people who have never had to do the work of walking queer in this world, this is easy to ignore. Just assign your benefits to #Luck or #Blessings and you are off the hook for #Responsibility and #Justice.
If you write off your privilege to #Blessings or #Luck, you ignore the work of those who slave away to make things better for you.
If you write off your privilege to #Blessings or #Luck, you easily assume that those who don’t get what you have are just getting what they deserve, that God has forsaken them for a reason, rather than society failing them to maintain comfort and status quo.
My work has been a #Blessing to my family. How #Lucky they were to get such gifts!
And isn’t it just too bad that I wasn’t as #Lucky or as #Blessed, too?