I’ve been reading about John Wayne, been listening to Luca Zingaretti talk about Montalbano. They both talk about the characters they play as having a sense of justice, and that sense makes the characters attractive to women.
When we see someone do the right thing in the face of challenge, rather than doing the easy, comfortable self-indulgent thing, I think that we see in that person a certain nobility.
It’s good when people have a reflected nobility, working as part of a team working for a noble cause, something bigger than themselves, something of service, but it is even better when people carry their own personal nobility, standing up alone to do the right thing.
Years ago, a friend told me that what most women want was to be treated like a queen by a partner who deserves to be treated like a king. I think what she meant is that we want to commit our energy, our caring and our love to someone who carries a certain nobility, someone who is strong enough to rise above themselves to do what needs to be done for their family, for their community, for their God.
Nobility, though, is usually only visible in contrast. You can’t walk through the supermarket and pick out the noble people, you can only see nobility when it is revealed through choices, when you understand how they make noble choices when it counts.
If your choices aren’t comprehensible to others, then the nobility of them is invisible. Nobility is fundamentally an old-fashioned value, classic rather than trendy, so those caught up in fashion don’t know how to value it.
I have known many transpeople who have a certain nobility, one that shows in their choices which put others first, which reflect a struggle to be both honest and appropriate in the world. I have seen many of these transpeople who make noble choices dismissed and denigrated by others, those who believe in comfort and judgment over nobility.
Maybe it’s just my feminine heart, but I find a certain amount of nobility makes me soften a little bit, responding to a bit of gallantry and grace which tempers the earthiness of human nature.
And I find that especially true for people whose nobility is invisible to a wider world which values surface status & fashion over deep style & substance.
There is a reason women respect nobility, want to find and treasure it, even if it is an old-fashioned value.