Being Beautiful

There are two women, born female, who both have blogs and who are looking a bit better nowadays.   One has left university with an advanced technical degree and is back at a place where she interned, but now in a clerical position, wearing skirts and heels, and the other left the house as she never does, wearing makeup, and her parents didn’t say a thing.

Both of these women have secret identities.

The scientist has been keeping up a Tumblr blog about being a Bimbo.  It’s chock full of images of women with ridiculous amounts of hair removal, augmented boobs, tiny clothes, and exquisite hair and makeup in revealing poses, often accessorized by a sex partner.   She’s been exploring this gender expression with one boyfriend, step by step.  She has decided to get implants, for example.

The high school gal’s blog is about her deep secret.  In her YouTube blog, she talks about how she wants to become a drag queen.   This young woman of size painted up to go to gay pride, where she felt she could be bold and pretty, and was surprised when her mother didn’t say anything about her appearance as she left the house.

Both of these gals feel a secret need to break the gender norms imposed on them so they can just be, well, feminine and beautiful.   It’s a thrill for them to express their secret feminine identities on the street and get away with it, a thrill to actually be bold enough to break the rules of gender enough to actually be passionate, dramatic and enervated by their own appearance.

They just want to be able to dress up and be attractive, but they feel that behaviour is so policed in their own peer group that they have to turn to bimbo porn or drag queen drama to feed their own simple need to be beautiful in their own life.

Bimbo gal likes to talk about how she is submissive, but to her that doesn’t mean bondage and discipline or sexual slavery, merely being the partner of a strong and somewhat dominant man.   Drag queen gal likes to talk about how she is queer, but she has little cultural knowledge of the fierce women born female divas whose expression sparked much drag drama.

If we live in a culture where the casual and compliant has so taken hold that young women need porn or drag role models just to embrace their own desire for beauty,  what does that say for gender empowerment from the women’s movement?

The people around these women don’t seem to think it’s a big deal that they want to dress up some, to look pretty and feminine in whatever way they want.    But that doesn’t stop them from needing to feeling transgressive inside so they can follow their own bliss.

As a culture, we have moved away from more formal and constructed models of beauty and expression.   We like to imagine that natural is best, even if natural requires bi-weekly waxing and regular hair dye to go with our carefully pre-distressed jeans.

Dammit, drama is beautiful.   And  no one should have to feel like they are breaking the rules just to bring out our own vision of beauty.  You can be a smart woman and still love sexy heels without having to follow porn models, and you can be a woman of size and still be glamorous without having to want to be a drag queen.

We don’t all have to play down to conventions of studied casualness.    But being bold enough to trust your own unique and dramatic beauty isn’t easy.

Even if you are beautiful young female.