Not Grief

Left the house for the first time in a week, since I went to the ophthalmologist.

Went to my doctor, who has been great with my and my father’s issues.

His practice is now affiliated with the hospital system that made my father a paraplegic.

Not good.

He asked me how I am doing, and I talked about bereavement issues.

I’m not good with grief groups, as I have written here.

And that’s because what I am challenged with isn’t just bereavement. and change and ambivalence but rather post traumatic stress.

And every time I trip over the boards that man screwed up in the floor or face that hospital chain again, it all comes up all over again.

The trauma just keeps on coming.

So many stories left to unpack.  So little energy.

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