Mystifying and Powerful

But [Connie] Britton analyzes those setbacks for subtext. In a scene in an early episode [of Nashville], in which [Rayna] Jaymes takes a long walk with an old flame, Britton deliberately resisted some lines in which her character expressed fears about being old. “Just drawing on my own experience, I never — I never — personally reference myself as old. I don’t think of myself as old, but I certainly would not say that to a man,” Britton said. It starts to become obvious, as Britton talks, how much of her own Southern upbringing (she was raised in a close-knit family in small-town Virginia) feeds into the characters she creates. “I might have a conversation with some girlfriends — what are we doing about the lines around our eyes — but to a man? There are certain things — it would just be demystifying and disempowering,” she said.

Connie Britton Is A Late Bloomer, NY Times Magazine, 17 February 2013

I understand that impulse completely, the feminine impulse to be mystifying and powerful, holding your own with others.

Charm, allure, glamour.  Never really seemed like options to me.   And that meant that my fundamental question, that question I asked Holly, Renee and Sabrina at my first session at my first Southern Comfort Conference, is still a challenge: How do transpeople take power in the world?

In Paul Williams, Still Alive, Williams speaks about how his performing helped move him from “different” to “special.”  To him, being different wasn’t so good, but being special was.

There are human cultures where I would have been identified as a teen and my gifts would have been valued and amplified.  To be inducted into an order with mystery and power, well, just not my experience in the world.   It’s slightly different today, as there is an order out there, but sadly, it’s pornography based, catering only to the fantasies of men who desire she-males.   Maybe there was another one, the order of drag queens, and maybe I could have found that at Jacques, but I didn’t feel I fit there, either.

To go from baffling & strange to mystifying & powerful sounds like a lovely thing.

I think I just missed the window.