TBB was happy tonight, well, at least happier than I am after spending 30 hours without power and heat after a nasty ice storm. Pretty, though, big full moon and all.
There is a couple on the ship, and TBB has been affirming to them. That’s TBB’s style; empowerment and encouragement, which apparently isn’t very common, at least on the ship.
Last night they invited her out, seeing the new apartment. The gal’s sister thought TBB is a hoot, fast and funny, another vote for TBB to do professional comedy with “incredible timing.”
And TBB was happy.
It’s great to be on the ship, doing engineering things. Heck, whistling while she repaired the head got her a chance to work with the Detroit Diesel guys and learn to tune the engines. Great fun.
That’s the part of being in the moment, selfless and absorbed. Being happy.
But somehow, that seems to be limited in the “wearing a dress” part. She isn’t really TBB when rebuilding a diesel, even if a bit leaks through.
But last night, she got to both be TBB and be in the moment. To both wear a dress (or in her case, dress slacks) and be happy
We both know lots of trannys who have to make a choice between being themselves and being in the moment, between wearing a dress and being happy. For transwomen, too often we have to make that choice: do we stay defended and express ourselves, or do we be open and submerge ourselves?
I know what my choice has always been. I’d rather be in the moment than wear a dress.
But that’s not what I really want. I don’t want to have to make that false choice.
I want to both be in the moment and be myself.
I want to both wear a dress and be happy.
Is that too much to ask?
Callan 