About Them

TBB tells one of those New York stories;  a long night, karaoke, a stolen wallet, host speeding away in a cab, finding wallet in trashcan with all $20 bills gone, a cab ride on the singles left, all that drama.

It’s her story, of course, but when she got back to her friend’s house and told the story, the friend got peeved at the partner who was supposed to host and drank instead.

In other words, TBB’s story instantly became their story, and TBB’s events were lost in the drama.

Of course, this is the standard plan.

Kate Bornstein used to tell the story of  50 year old women born female who came up to her and said “I loved Gender Outlaw!  It’s all about me!”   Carol Queen knows it too; she says that normies always assume everything is about them.

When I tell my own stories, I know that people need to put them in context, and unless they have done the work of queer, the only context they have is their own life, and their own life is defined by the attempt to fit in, and not the attempt to claim their own unique story, separate and true.

It’s All About Me, Not You,” as Greer Lankton said.

But every queer understands why she had to say it.