I cannot both break the wall and simultaneously protect others.
That’s why I don’t break the wall; it’s the habitual way to protect.
Monday morning I drove down to tell my sister about the job.
She was positive, said it would happen, she and my brother would. . .
She called Monday night, but she had her boyfriend there.
She called Tuesday night and was stunned at the messes that day.
She showed up last night, listened a bit and then talked about how far behind the 8-Ball she is.
My mother presses me for financials and then is upset I don’t engage.
I am upset that I barely made it through the day. But there is no way to tell her that. She doesn’t care about the details, rather she is just peeved that people don’t do what she tells them to do.
I can’t move forward when still bound and entombed.
But it seems to me the only way to get out is a smash through the wall.
And then I will be expected to clean up the mess, but I can’t clean up the mess if I am doing the running.