I really need a few rounds of “Yes, Yes.”
Whenever TBB calls, I understand my role is to say yes.
Yes, you are more than the woes of the week.
Yes, you are more than what limited and scared people can see.
Yes, there are blessings in your life that get lost in the day to day.
Yes, your struggles have paid off in the past and will again.
Yes, you are beautiful and potent.
Yes, you have the gifts your creator gave you running through you.
Yes, you can make it through this and blossom again
Yes, there will be lovely times for you in the future.
Yes, I remember the song in your heart and will remind you of it.
Yes, you can shine in the world.
Yes, you deserve the best because you are a glorious child of God.
Yes, people will see and believe your magic.
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, you must follow your heart, even when others fear it.
“Yes, Yes” is a game girls learn to play with each other, rounds of affirmation from friend to friend which can buck us up for expressing our own individual strength and unique beauty in a world that wants to treat us like an interchangeable gear. Women need to see and be seen, to trust that their personal expression does make a difference when it is so easy to believe that our only value is how we serve the expectations of others.
That’s why one of the best ways to play “Yes, Yes” is to use someone’s own words, own history to enlighten them. When we see the brightness that we have brought to the world and see how this world has spotlighted us, well, we may just believe that more of our own magic better than hiding.
TBB, well, she has challenges aplenty, like every transperson, like everyone in this fast, grinding and complex world. And while she loves the fact I play “Yes, Yes,” with her, getting to the point where she can play “Yes, Yes” with me is rare. She is jetting, pounding, in the many, many challenges of the day, and that means getting out of herself to reflect me is just not even possible.
I work hard to keep my little mental book of affirmations, and when people like Sarah speak up, or Allyson quotes me, I see myself reflected for a moment. I know that people value my presence and my gifts, or at least a few of them do. It’s just that those bits are often obscured by the obligation to be invisible in the face of a world that has enough trouble managing their own problems.
So, I really need a few rounds of “Yes, Yes.” And I don’t feel like writing one of those affirming notes to myself as I have done so many times in the past.
Today, why don’t you play “Yes, Yes” with someone you care about. Remind them they are more than just dust, that they are also spark, not just meat but also light and magic.
And my hope for you is that someone does that for you, too.