Policing

In the trans session (and I was the only self-identified transwoman there, old decayed me), all the questions seemed to come down to policing; how does it feel to be policed, who polices trans expression, and what is their interest in policing trans expression?

There was agreement that gay and lesbian people seem to have a big interest in policing trans. They feel the need to out us, to try and make sure that we are firmly anchored to our birth sex. Is that because they need to stay anchored to their birth sex, or because they need to stay anchored to their desire?

This week I saw a snip of the Will & Grace where Jack is freaked because he was turned on by a lap dancer at Stan’s bachelor party. Karen is freaked because she can’t turn Jack on, but all is right when the stripper is revealed as a transsexual saving for her “snippity-doo-dah day.” Jack wouldn’t be the only person who needs to keep trannys located so they don’t “accidentally” sleep with us.

There was also a sense that feminists have some interest in policing womanhood, from defectors who show that womanhood isn’t forever (transmen) and those who might want to enter womanspace (transwomen.) We didn’t talk about how trannys need to police gender, like the SSS troops who kept crossdressers straight men.

Sadly Jessica Pettitt‘s day of trans inclusion tomorrow looks like another exercise in policing, at least from the handouts in our binder.

I guess people think that if Gay and Lesbian are policed boxes, and bisexual is a crossing of that box, well trans must be one of those boxes, too. The handouts start with a list of labels (Crossdresser, Drag Queen, etc) and go downhill from there.

I am lead to understand that Ms. Pettitt’s partner is a transman, and that is at the heart of her credentials.

It seems to me that her presentation is about dequeering trans, and while I know many transpeople who find that a worthy goal, to me it misses the point of all this work, moving to claim identity and self past the normative, boxed and expected.

I may well be wrong here, and may get lots more from her presentation than her hard-milled handouts suggest.

But sometimes, I just get sick of the prospect of less empowerment and more policing.

Sometimes.

ClothesMania

I spent 45 minutes searching for the skirt I wanted for this morning.  I had chosen it and placed it separately.

It’s still missing, though I dumped out every tub, making a horrendous mess, like the proverbial “drag bomb” went off.

This is a condition that a friend used to call “clothesmania” when you just can’t get it and get crazy.

And in the middle of this I had the 15 minute wakeup call to my mother, now in an Econo Lodge in Fayetteville.

I’m crazed and crazy, and there must be some point to this.

Why did goddess hide my skirt and leave my arms tingling with frustration and craziness?

I can only assume she did it on a morning when I have time obligations because she wanted me to work through it and get on.

I feel crappy and want to give up.

But I’ll get in the car and go anyway.

That must mean something, eh?