I’m not going to the Whole Health Expo in Northampton today.

I thought about it and looked at the flyer. Lots of New Age healers ready to answer your deepest questions from their informed perspective, with the beliefs and visions they have gained on their journey. All those perspectives are nicely packed up in glossy sound bytes, designed to be appealing to urban professionals who have more money than peace, who want comfort and solace more than they want challenge.

That’s the way we do it nowadays. You don’t have to go to the mountain top to find the guru anymore, having to seek enlightenment as a man whose hair is on fire seeks water, as Krishnamurti said, rather there is a mini-guru in your neighborhood with a franchised message who can come to you in a convenient one hour block.

I’m not really useful for much other than being a guru. Heck even in the day I was always the corporate shaman, the one who walked through walls and showed the way.

TantraGal, who has advertisements for her practice in stylish vinyl letters on the outside of her minivan saw it immediately. “There aren’t any powerful trans based books out there,” she told me. “It’s a niche!”

Yeah, it is. Package me up as an author, rather than just the messy writer I am now, and I can sell the message of transformation and change. Cut me up into meal sized pieces, seal me in plastic, and people will grab me off the shelf.

It’s just the way we do guru in this culture.

Me, well, I have a Fear Of Guru in that manner. I look at the workshops schedules and know these people are going to stay on message, because they are much more missionaries than visionaries, message carriers rather than deep seers.

But still, as I told TantraGal when she was feeling uncomfortable about being objectified and commoditized, we have to believe that the message transcends the packaging. We have to believe that, otherwise we are up shit, because packages of some sort or other are required.

Somehow, I gotta get over my FOG and do the packaging. TantraGal wanted to help for a couple of minutes, but she is scrambling for her own practice, and doesn’t need my call to go deeper and write. She may know that’s important, but now, well, now — is it ever really a good time? We will see where that goes.

Could I engage and enthrall an audience for an hour?

I’m pretty sure that I could.

Could I feel good about that?

I don’t remember.

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