Guy Thing

In a comment, I responded to one blog writer that they were making a very “guy argument.”

They want to know what I mean by that.

In my long history, the one thing I have always been unable to do is explain things to people whose minds aren’t open to those thing. My experience tells me that people born male clinging to guy-in-a-dress status often have trouble opening their minds to other points of view, especially a point of view that challenges the identity they are working so hard to maintain.

I do have kind of a rule of thumb I use when I read text on the internet to determine the gender status of someone when they wrote.

If they start with something along the lines of “You are wrong, and let me tell you why. . .” then I see a kind of masculine energy.

If they start with “You make good points, and I agree with you. It’s just that. . .” then I see a kind of feminine energy.  It’s that moment of saying “Yes, you are right on that,” that moment of opening and changing that I find so rare in purely masculine defenses.

I know this isn’t hard and fast, and that many women assigned female at birth come with the masculine energy. In my experience, though, women tend to reach for connection first, and then work to identify and resolve differences, while men try to express their own beliefs and demand others sign on to them.  Some men also listen and acknowledge, usually men who have worked to improve their skills in conflict resolution and consensus building.

In the case of this poster, I noted that they were slamming other trannys about grabbing off women’s space and writing bad poetry without any acknowledgment or compassion that they were just doing the best they can within the constraints of their individual tranny life.

I mean, bad poetry is standard, but it’s mostly just bad teenage poetry written by people who don’t yet understand their own experience, who haven’t yet found their own voice, but still want to speak of their desires.

I’ve been in these brawls, though, where someone offers this sense of how they experience masculine and feminine energy differently, and the masculine readers decide that the person is wrong and needs to be brought into line. I have seen lists where the voices I heard as feminine have disappeared, not wanting to fight the bullies I hear as masculine.

I know that women have their own ways of taking power, and they aren’t always nice or pretty. But they are women’s ways.

TBB believes that trannys who feel the need to bang on other trannies haven’t yet come to grips with their own weakness and vulnerabilities. It isn’t until you can accept yourself that you can be compassionate with others, accept and acknowledge our connections.

But I don’t know how to explain that to someone who doesn’t yet see it.