Bubbling

TBB was just The Bubbling Babe this morning. She was at dinner with two other transwomen last night, and the energy was flowing, which TBB could tell because the waitress was laughing at everything she said.

This morning the fun continued at the McDonald’s drive-thru (no, TBB isn’t actually pregnant, though she does seem quite fecund) and she wanted to talk about how good it feels to have the lines bubbling up through her, that effervescent joy around her in the world. The play brings enlightenment, the kind that cuts through everyday crap, revealing the bright light of spirit.

It’s a bunch of bits that come together for this. She has a daughter in her home, she is flying on metal wings (and very good at it, too), she has an audience of people who get the joke and are working to help her, and she has gotten her views into the world, or at least IFGE Tapestry.

She has something to say to the world, TBB does, and when she feels it flowing through her, it feels good. Key West reminded her that an earnest “I’m a real woman now” leads to being fearful, but a big “I’m here and I’m queer” opens up the fun and the joy of life.

One thing we share is the calling, the knowledge that we are here to serve, not in small ways, but in bringing the brilliance our mother in the sky gave us into the world, in helping others find and trust their own brilliance. We feel the voice coming from deep inside, and it’s only when we feel the need to stifle it for the comfort of others that it causes us pain.

“When I’m down in the mud, you are always there to remind me that my spirit is strong and will lift me again,” TBB said, “so I wanted to share with you how great it feels to be lifted a bit, shining a bit, bubbling a bit.”

It’s a lovely reminder, sharing not just our sorrows but also our joys.

Almost makes me believe that there is still joy out there for me, too.

New and Nifty

You can only meet people where they are.

When you are someplace else, that’s a challenge.

I suspect this note got thrown in the “too” pile, where I have been placed many times before.

May my correspondent continue the journey she is called to, step by step finding the power of her heart and sharing it with a world that needs our intense love.

Is there anything so powerful as when we are in that liminal space where relationships are new and every moment is another reason to tingle with the sweet tingle of discovery?

In today’s culture, it is that natural high that we have learned to co-opt as a a tool for marketing or an end in itself. We become trained to search for novelty, and then when the novelty wears off, we search again, going through products and relationships to try to make things new again.

Problem is, I think, that creation didn’t lead us to that feeling just for the sake of that feeling. I think it’s a kind of euphoria that was designed to help cushion the work of change. We meet someone, for example, and it feels so thrilling that we have the capacity to handle the learning and the compromises we need to be in that relationship, to find ways of building a new stability, a new possibility, a new way of life, IF we don’t think that feeling is an end in itself, if we aren’t just seeking the feeling of heartpoundingly new, change for change sake, but are looking for ways to deepen our experience and enrich our lives.

I am joyous that you have that exuberance and enervation to feel that energy which allows you to engage the possibility that you can live your life in relationship with your creator and not just as society says is conventional. You stand with creation and more is possible as you use that soul stirring energy to not just stir your soul but create a new and more honest relationship with the world around you.

That’s a great place to be. The Eros of Following Our Bliss, as Joseph Campbell said, is something that I wish I had used more powerfully, that rush of energy empowering me to break through the bounds of convention and claim my own expression.

May you use that enthusiasm and exuberance to continue to soften the blows of change as you become more powerfully you, co-creating your life with God.

I did find your video through your blog, as I found your contact address. I will continue to keep an eye on it, looking forward to you sharing your experiences how the stories and ideas of others moved through you.

Blessings to you.

Mardi Petit

Deep in the pit of my gut, there is a small but intense churning, a ragged sore, just there as a bit of desire to be denied, a dream to be dumped.

It’s a simple dream, but beyond me.

I want to put on my lashes and purple micro-glitter and go to the Arts Mardi Gras party tonight, go out and kick up my heels and laugh.

Wow, saying that out loud makes a real flare up, spreading discomfort below my navel.

But the truth is that the party prolly won’t be that good, not much creativity, few people looking for the thrill of moving out of their comfort zone to be smart and enervated.   I’ve done this for 30 years now, I know what to expect.

But that doesn’t stop me wanting a thrilling play date, feeling the churning and struggling to keep it contained and compartmentalized.

Ouch