Paddle Balloons

It’s hard not to note the paddle balloons.

There they were, right in the shiny new Dollarama at College Park center across the street, 4″ round, flat and on cardboard under a transparent dome.

Maybe I should have bought more, but I got six. Three pair.

Almost every tranny born male needs something to help fill her bra, no matter ho big her man-boobs are. And the solutions are legion. Joann Roberts was in a late night taxi cab crash in NYC, and her water filled baggies exploded, causing discussion at the emergency room. Ed came up with a recipe to make forms out of fishing worms molding plastic, allowing huge creations. Charlie Brown jokes that when their car broke down coming back from Birmingham, they drained the hot water from the radiator and ate the four pounds of oatmeal she keeps in front of her.

Now, of course, the cost of silicone prosthesis have come way down, but I never bought them. Still, the one thing I hated was hugging someone when I had rock hard boobs. Not nice.

International Chrysis had that problem with her injected boobs, probably silicone that went hard. She used to joke that they were filled with Johnson’s Wax, and called them Johnson & Johnson. (Yes, I know Johnson’s Wax/SC Johnson of Wisconsin and Johnson & Johnson of NJ are different companies, but we gotta value the joke.)

My eventual solution was big balloons, really big balloons filled with the gel from inside of freezer packs, those bags you put in the cooler. It’s important that the sac not be tight, that it can move.

A few years ago, I went through the stock I had of them — rubber doesn’t last forever — and had to move on. But even Nyjer/Thistle seed inside stockings doesn’t have the same fluidity, even if it is somewhat more useful for push up. (White Glue/Borax gel makes interesting push up pads, but they don’t last)

But here, in front of me on the shelf was a whole peg filled with paddle balloons. Felt like a sign, even if it was just coincidence (I just listened to Julia Sweeny’s Letting Go Of God )

And two of them are filled with freezer gel and in a bag. Still haven’t gotten on the plane, though.

Just something hard not to note, those paddle balloons.