Older/Mature

TBB is on the move back to FLA. The CFO thought he was the only brains the operation needed, so he let her go, and the dream of trannyhelp turned into a dead end, as it so often does, so back.

What next?

“I would never let myself have a motorcycle when I was younger,” she told me.  I believed my father when he told me that it was too risky, that I would hurt myself.

“But I’m older now, and I have a motorcycle and I love it. I don’t have to listen to those parent tapes.  Now I think I am ready to do what scared me, including learning to fly.”

“I don’t think it’s because you are older,” I told her.

“I think it’s because you are more mature.

“Now that you have emerged, don’t have to maintain the façade, can let the inner you out to explore and grow, well, now, as the woman you are you are more centered, more potent, and more able to come from a deep and together place, rather than a shallow and split one. You can act from your gut, not just your jumpiness.

“After all,” I asked, “What scared you more than trusting and embodying your trans nature?  The only way to be a grown-up transperson is to be an emerged transperson, mainfesting yourself in the world.”

“That’s probably true. I am more mature,” she told me.

She’s going back with the kids in the car to close up stuff and move back home, and then she needs a job and some income to pay expenses and help raise the kids, help with their mother.

She wants to over-plan things — Alaskan bush pilot or talk show star? — but really all she can do is give it to God; work hard, do her best, and let our mother in the sky handle the outcome. That means being open to possibilities, because the best things that happen to us could never have been predicted before they happen. Life is a curvy road, and we can’t see beyond the bend; we have to go as far as we can see and then go farther.

I offer TBB all blessings, and am confident that the universe will work well in her open, beautiful and mature life.

Now, if I could only come from that same mature & centered place.

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