TBB thinks I have the idea of “normal” wrong.
To her, normal isn’t some model of what would be good and what wouldn’t be good.
Being normal just means being comfortable in her skin and her world.
When she decided to transition, she abanoned hope of being normative, blending in somehow. Rather, she committed herself to creating a new normal, whatever was normal for a big, beautiful transwoman, a big bitch, as it were.
She thinks she’s achieving that. So much so that she’s ready to leave the space where she shed the cross-dressing man facade and revealed the transsexual woman beneath. Now, that transsexual woman is ready to move on, to go ahead and leave gender obession and do her work.
Part of this is the result of the tedium of the stories she hears from trannies in that space. They all have begun to sound like the same story, the same myopic, needy, canned story, the same story of sickness & desiring.
The big breakthrough for her? She can’t believe how much her way of seeing the world has changed. It’s amazing to her how much her perspective, her awareness and her choices have changed. It’s something she never could have imagined, something she could have never understood before she experienced that.
I get that. I tried to explain it to her in the past, but she didn’t hear, she couldn’t hear. She had to be where she was.
Transvestism is about changing your clothes.
Transsexualism is about changing your body.
Transgender is about changing your mind.
If transpeople stand for anything in the world, it is for the possibility to transform beyond biology, history & expectations. It is to trust the continuous common humanity we all share, trust that spiritual being living a human life, rather than the quick and easy walls of projected separation which maintains the status quo.
I was talking to someone yesterday who talked about breaking though the barrier of fundamentalist fear. I was struck by The Right Stuff — I am the child of a jet engineer after all.
Breaking the sound barrier was hard. It was hard because just before the breakthough, just before Mach 1, the air gets thick and roiled. It’s a scary and unsafe place — men died trying to get there — and many experts said that barrier just could not be broken.
I suspect that is common to barriers; the resistance is greatest just before the breakthough.
And after the breakthough, we find a new normal, a new kind of stasis, a place where going beyond the barrier becomes commonplace, routine, and yes, becomes normal.
No one else will lead you though your breakthroughs. In fact, they will probably be part of the resistance encountered. But once you establish a new normal, they may well follow you to that new space.
I think TBB is right. What needs to be abandoned are dreams of becoming normative, being who we want to be.
What needs to be claimed are dreames of becoming normal, of being who we are in a comfortable & potent way.
And that’s the breakthough that may be possible.