It happens that some people assume that because I am facing challenges, I don’t really want to hear about things that are going well for them.
I assure you that’s not true. I want to affirm their blessings, to be joyful for them as they get what they need and what they want. I know how important it is to affirm in others what you want for yourself, know that good things do happen in the workld, know that hope needs to stay alive.
For well over a decade now I have worked hard to use positive and affirming language with others. I always make sure to tell my sister that she is brilliant and gorgeous, and can let that be seen in the world. When my mother makes a comment about anything, I comment on how lucky she is, hoping that the fundamental practice of gratitude will help her see light. I have nicknamed friends Sparkle, and strive to be encouraging whenever possible. 60% of giving help is giving courage, as some Irish have said.
I need to boost the dreams of others even if they scare me, or I see holes in them. Rachel Crosby called me a dream burster once, back in the mid-1980s when she transitioned, and I realized she was right. All dreams start out small and shaky. It’s only when they are allowed to grow that they go away or become powerful realities. We gotta encourage growth.
Now, I’m aware that my pain reads to other people, and that’s not easy for them to face. I’m also aware I will never be an absolute cheerleader — I have a different kind of vision than that.
But I’m also aware that I need to be there, be positive and be encouraging whenever I can. I need to root for good things in the lives of others, need to be truly happy for the blessings that they — and I — get. I need to blieve in the possibility of dreams really changing everything, changing vision, changing lives, changing world.
It’s one thing I try to give to the world, whenever and however I can. I believe that a therapist is someone who sees in you something that you do not yet see in yourself, and helps you bring that out.
I believe that you have magic inside of you, and when you let it out, your heart will be lifted and good things will happen.
I even believe that is true for me. I just believe that most people aren’t really comfortable with me letting it out, and I no longer have the exuberance, enthusiasm and endurance to face them down.
But you do.
So go for it, make good things happen, and know, know absolutely, that I will be happy for you.
The worst part of having success is
to try finding someone who is happy for you.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that you, too,
can become great.
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