It makes me crazy when people want to postulate about gender but have no working definition of what gender even is. How can you discuss something without some clear idea of what you are talking about?
For me, gender exists in the minds of humans, in the assumptions we make about the difference between men and women. This ranges from the expectations we lay on people based on the sex we percieve them to be, to the liscence & demands we place on them for the same reason.
It always amazes me how many transpeople think that they can promote their own ideas by sweeping away the traditions and assumptions that are common and widespread in culture. People cherish these notions, and willingly gender themselves, taking on the obligations of gender (albeit with grumbling) to get the benefits of gender (even if those benefits appear to escape them.)
People know what they know, even if that knowledge is just convention, and to change that convention, the new conventions have to hold that truth better. We accept the capacity of those of color and females because, in the end, we realize that they have much to contribute, that white males hold not exclusive patent on smarts and capability.
We can’t change convention by trying to ignore conventional wisdom, only by using the wisdom to inform new convention.
And that is hard.