Seeing Hearts

TBB was in Manhattan over the weekend.  While she is building community where she lives, it was a treat for her to be among smart people who actually understand and admire what and who she is, the kind of audience she needs to learn to relax and trust herself more.

She noted the takes of cab drivers, who thought she looked good, for a guy. “How are SF, NYC and Trinidad CO alike?” she asked. 

“You can’t pass in any of them,” was her reply.  “In most places, the thought of transsexual is dismissed, but not there.

She decided to help carry up a mattress and box spring for a friend who was moving.

A fellow who was helping said “Your friend is stronger than many guys I know!”

The ones who love us, well, they see our hearts first, not our bodies.  Others, well, the bodies first and the content, maybe

If we haven’t learned to trust our hearts, though, we have trouble trusting their attraction and affection for us.   And we can’t shine because we keep the defenses up, end up doing the work we learned to affact when we did for affirmation rather than be for affirmation.

As for me, I’m not even sure where my heart is anymore.

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