Free Floating

It astounds me how many crossdressers see themselves only as rugged indvidualists and don't understand how the possibilities of the closet have changed in the last 50 years.

The Prince made guests bring a bag to the first club, Hose And Heels, and made guests put on the contents before talking about transvestism because she thought no LAPD vice cop would put on stockings and high heels.

We didn't have the words and lanugage in the late 1960s when I was coming out, and we certainly didn't have the venues.

I think young trannies understand this, and people raised as women understand connection (though they often devalue manhood as something offputting, even if they claim it), but it takes so much energy to be a het man in relationship with a family & a job that even understanding the lay of the interlocking queer communities, let alone immersing in them, seems impossible & disruptive.

But it's when we understand that we are not free floating that we begin to have some kind of roots and know the limits. 

I recently read the comments of one doctor who recently had surgery who was complaining that being in Trinidad people don't treat her like a woman.  Apparently she didn't have to sign the disclaimer that reminds patients that all SRS buys you is genital reconstruction, not womanhood or anything like it.

Now, if she had immersed in the narrative, lore, history and connection of a community, she would know that, but as a rugged individualist on a solitary path, all she knew was what she wanted and what the creation myth she created in her head said: get the surgery, and everything changes. 

The surgery changes nothing, as anyone who has lived with it for a while can tell you.  It merely gives you another tool to change yourself. 

The stories are out there, and if you listen, the picture becomes clear.  

But if you see yourself as an indvidual in a closet who is separated from all those other trannys, well, then you are just a free floater.

And floaters are always the hardest to get in control.

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