If you were to suggest
that the fear, trepidation and loathing I feel
all rooted in the expectations of something bad
when I look at the possibility of
a new message
that churning twisting tightness
which stops me from opening the envelope
if you were to suggest that
it’s all rooted in the way I learned
to inhibit myself
so I could stay small & hidden
my own self too tender for the world
and suggest that decades of that
have left my heart too strained
to imagine I can move past it
if you were to suggest that
well,
then I’d probably agree
with you.
Callan 