The Dutchess Of York was on the Issac Mizrahi show. Now, frankly, as a devotee of talk shows, I think Mizrahi sucks at the game, because he is way too brutally explicit. He has no nuance of conversation, and that’s because he has no deep thinking, but stays at the surface. He bumbled his way though this chat that way too, at one point raving about Weight Watchers and then calling it boring, while his guest was only wandering though Whole Foods market with him because Weight Watchers was paying her to do it.
He was way too touchy with the Duchess, which was easy to see on her face if you actually chose to read nuance. Eventually, after a while of this, she pinched his waist to see if he was thin, and he got a bit churlish. This from the person who grabbed Scarlett Johanson’s boob on live TV at the Golden Globes. I wish Issac would just have made the breakthrough and become the woman she is, because then he wouldn’t have to be a lost boy forever — he could grow up.
What I want to talk about, though, is the Dutchess. She’s looking for a man, and she said she wants him to be funny. But when she expanded on that, she said she wants him to choose to go to Paris on a whim, no packing, just go. I don’t think that’s funny, but I do think that’s fun. She wants fun, like when she pulled a lemon from the bottom of the display and hoped they would all fall, fun on TV.
It’s my sense that it is not funny she wants, not someone telling her jokes all the time. Rather, it’s someone fun, who will do fun things that involve, engage, amuse and tittilate her.
She wants someone to play with. In the dining room, in the bedroom, on trips, someone who will engage in play, making shared bubbles of imagination that keep her in the moment, that keep her childlike and open. She has enough obligations, enough formalities, enough maturity, but she doesn’t have enough play, and she wants it, she needs it.
You may think that Henny Youngman is funny, but you don’t want to sleep with him. Even less, probably, now that he is dead. But someone who is fun, someone who plays, someone who opens up the possibilities of laughter beyond the obligations, well, they are someone you may well want to hold very close and get very sweaty with.
“Make me laugh, think or come,” said one of the buttons I own. I read that the same way: “Let’s play.”
How do we make play as part of our spiritual practice, as our ritual which takes us beyond the bounds of the hum-drum and leads us to ecstatic joy?
I think we look for someone funny, someone fun, someone to play with.