I was telling a story to TBB about how a crossdresser laughed at me for making a packing list before I traveled to this conference.
“That’s so silly! Real women don’t do that!” She then turned to JoAnn Roberts to share a laugh about this silliness.
“I make a list, too,” said JoAnn. “My wife taught me. How else do you remember to bring the scarf you need for the outfit or such?”
TBB thought this was funny.
“I know that!” TBB said. “Crossdressers always just stuff everything they own into one suitcase, and if that doesn’t work, they just get a bigger suitcase!”
I laughed. As a honcho for Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) for over a decade, TBB has seen lots of this behavior.
“It’s amazing how when you become a transsexual, all you need for trips is a little flight bag. There are no clothes that have never left the closet and have to be hauled around and worn. You have a wardrobe rather than just outfits.
“You know, when you stopped coming to SCC, I was peeved. I would miss you. How could you not need this event? Now, though, I understand why transsexuals don’t come back. Those people who are just expanding their suitcase have limits. but those unpacking their suitcases are beyond those limits.”
“Now that you understand, can you tell me if there was any way I could have explained that more fully to you at the time?” I asked her.
“Nope,” she replied. “I just couldn’t have understood.”
I remember when I was young and used to often say “That may well be true, but you certainly don’t expect me to accept it, do you?”
That was my code for acknowledging truths I was not yet ready to integrate into my life. I learn by listening to others, not just by experience, and I know that if we are not ready to bring the truth into our lives, even having it stare us in the face will not change that. I’m happy that I didn’t have to work to destroy or erase the truth, rather just leave it at arms length, but people do what they can do.
And until they can make an integrated life rather than just a compartmentalized one, what can they do but just get a bigger suitcase?