In Theory

I have been to two sessions of a “Living With Loss” support group at the local Cancer Society.

My experience is different than most of the widows and mothers who populate the group, but then again, everyone’s experience is different.  I’m clearly the one with the most recent loss.

What I got picked at last night is my defence strategy.

“Yes, you are right in theory, but…”

I  understand the concepts.  But I don’t feel like I have the energy to make them work.

When I was a kid, I had a similar reply: “That may well be true, but you certainly don’t expect me to admit it, do you?”

Now, I was also valued for the support I gave others, the “reframing” of their challenges.   I know how to recontextualize, to think of challenges in ways that look more towards love and miracles than towards fear and loss.

I get the idea.  Sure I should get out there to make connections, should take advantage of support options like massage or yoga, should write out the damage I carry from my life.  But it seems too hard, too challenging, too impossible.

Someone yesterday found the post “Interesting Damage,”  maybe because Ron Jeremy got out of hospital yesterday, but the idea there, that maybe the best we can do in this life is to have interesting damage is still potent.

Well, potent in theory at least, anyway.

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