Going Public
August 1, 2010
My sister now has to face the challenge of self-owned lives.
She has to go public.
She spent a long time playing a role in someone else’s play, Manager #47, but now she has to not only be out there, she has to own the content.
We bought her a cheap video camera and encouraged her to post video on her studio’s blog. I’m not stupid; I may love text, but I know that there are huge numbers on the web for whom text is more an obstacle than a engagement. They want to see and hear, not just read to hear with their inner voice.
She hasn’t done that yet, and is feeling uncomfortable.
My mother spoke about her own orneriness and how, when she spoke out, it would embarrass my sister.
I certainly have similar stories.
Now, though, I have to encourage her to do something she has always discouraged me from doing: being visible, standing proud, inviting gaze, and trusting her own beauty.
As I said to her, if she thinks coming out as a mature woman artist is hard, she should think about the challenges for a queer shaman, a power-femme drag-mom.
She has to do what she has always discouraged me from doing, and she knows I am not wrong. If she wants a practice as an artist, she has to be visible.
Maybe after she makes it, she can finally support me.
Though the way my chest feels from a half an hour, 3:30 AM to 4 AM, getting my mother up from the floor when she fell, I suspect it is too late.
